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Getting Angry with Your Child
Tips for Working with Young Children
Parenting myths include the belief that you can be a perfect parent; that children always obey parents; that parents are in charge of the situation—and the list goes on. But the reality is that babies cry, parents don't get enough sleep, toddlers say, "no," kids disobey, and brothers and sisters fight. When you add in the stresses of daily life, many parents feel overwhelmed and at times angry.
Anger is a normal reaction. Try using this four-step process to work through situations when you are angry.
Step 1: Stop. Pause for a moment to cool off. Go into another room and take control of your feelings. Try slowly counting to 10.
Step 2: Look and listen. Read the situation. Is your anger a reaction to your child's behavior, or is there something else bothering you, such as stress, lack of sleep, or work problems?
Step 3: Form a plan. Determine what you want your child to learn from this. Consider different ways you could respond to the problem.
Step 4: Act. It's important to carry out your decision.
In addition to the steps, talk with your child. Be sure to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, say, "I am very upset about this," instead of, "you make me so angry. How could you have done this?"
Getting angry toward your children is a normal reaction. This four-step process is a good way to calm down and solve the problem.
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