Family Trouble

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Programs are available throughout Nebraska to help meet the needs of families and children

The best way to reduce anger is to do something to relax the other person, such as:

• getting him to sit down
• offering a drink of water or a non caffeinated drink
• changing environments like moving from the kitchen into living room.
• suggesting a 10 minute time-out

Listening to anger is much more than letting your family member blow off steam. It involves making a concentrated effort to understand what the anger is all about. Some specifics to help you listen include:

• Do not interrupt. This escalates the situation and communicates that you are not listening.
• Be aware of your body language. Use good eye contact and body language.
• Summarize in your own words what you think the other person is saying. Ask if you have understood correctly.
• If the angry person says you don't understand, explain that you are trying to understand. Ask for some examples that will help clarify the issues.
• Ask what can be done to resolve the situation. Try to establish positive and workable solutions to the problems.
• Responding with "you shouldn't feel that way" escalates a problem. You still need to acknowledge their feeling.

If the anger becomes abusive to you or others in the household, ask for assistance.